Queen

Queen. Yes. The band. They are only #7 of the world’s all-time best selling artists. Behind the likes of Elvis, ABBA and Madonna!

Only #7? Eighteen number one albums, they have! True rock spirit, they sport! We’ll see in the long run if ABBA stays up there……grumble grumble…. I digress.

What I really want to talk about herein a way to improve your work and personal relationships tenfold. I’m sure most of you have done karaoke here. But have all of you done Karaoke with Queen?! If you have any problems with your JTE, get in a karaoke room with them, and put in “Bohemian Rhapsody.” It works every time.

You see, many popular Queen songs actually ignite a chemical reaction in the brain. Queen’s first album, released in 1973 was a bit of a flop. Luckily enough the band kept trekking, and finally met up with a super secret rock scientist.

This scientist knew that all chemical reactions are accompanied by a change in energy. I won’t get into the science of it all here, but Queen songs were actually designed to cause a sudden output of energy as soon as the chemical reaction was initiated. The numerical stimulus for this reaction does vary. For example the cipher that this scientist designated to popular karaoke joint “Maneki Neko” happens to be “56642”. Besides locating the right code for a positive output in energy, you also must introduce a special substance. Of course, this substance is readily available even in countryside Japan: Alcohol.

I’ve heard many stories of new relationships forged over a “We are the Champions”, “We Will Rock You” and “Somebody to Love”. “Bohemian Rhapsody” has saved my relationship with three different teachers. Not to mention that approximately 100% of my Japanese friendships were forged in a karaoke room last February. And those friendships weren’t forged over ABBA.

So if you are feeling lonely, you might even try going to a karaoke place alone and screeching out a Queen song of your choice, with the door open, and see who floods in.

P.S. Queen, Led Zepplin, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, The Police, The Who… What do they all have in common?

-Hofu's resident wannabe Brit